There have been many days in the past few weeks where I’ve felt somewhat useless. Like what I was doing, and attempting to do, kept falling flat. I ended up in a emotional heap on the couch one night when I felt God pressing me to do something.
I hadn’t felt Him press me like that in a some time, so I questioned it.
“I’m a ball of emotions. Surely right now is not the time to make this decision, God.”
I felt God say, “do it.”
“But it’s late and I’m not thinking clearly. I shouldn’t.”
Again He pressed, “Just do it.”
“Gah! Okay fine.”
I pressed send on the email I’d written just a few days prior.
Having sent the email felt good. It was in the hands of the receiver and not my issue any more. I closed my eyes to get some rest when my phone went off.
That’s right, not but thirty minutes passed before the little blue light on my phone was beaming at me – email… email… you have an email…
It was like the box of trouble I shipped off was back, labeled ‘return to sender.’ I didn’t want to deal with it so soon.
To afraid to read, I sat and stared. Knowing putting it off wouldn’t change the response, I finally picked up my phone and read the reply.
Peace flowed over me as I digested the words. Peace I hadn’t felt in a long while.
You are doing just as I asked
It’s in the time of waiting, we are stretched. It’s frustrating waiting on God. It can feel like our prayers are in vain and the yearning of our hearts are left wanting.
The email I sent started a chain reaction. A very good one. One that my husband and I had been praying for, for many months.
God reminded me that, in this time of waiting, I was doing exactly what He wanted. I was praying. The actions I thought were not enough proved to be exactly what He wanted.
I didn’t think praying would be enough. I felt like I needed to be doing more. Which begs the question…
What do you do in times of waiting?
You scream and throw fits and ask why over and over and over again, right? Been there, done that, don’t recommend it.
The above circumstance was a reminder that I need to remain faithful. Say my prayers, lay down what is on my heart and trust that God hears me. Trust that He is working behind the scenes. I couldn’t do a darn thing to change the circumstances, it was completely in His hands.
I read something that helped me find peace periods of waiting.
“The truth that God loves us to much to answer our prayers at any other time than the right time. And He loves us too much to answer our prayer any other way than the right way.” – Lysa Terkeurst
I may feel like God is up to nothing – but my feelings are not what I should base reality on. The truth is, He is working things together for my good. Written in scripture, His promise. Something that we can rely and count on – unlike our feelings.
Simply put I can’t rely on my emotions or my wants in the moment. Impatient and selfish is my reasonings. God loves me to much to just give me what I want, when I want it.
It’s not until I am failing under the weight of everything that I finally surrender it to God. Why do I wait till I am broken and a complete mess before I remember He is the only one who can fix the things that are broken.
Have I messed up to many times for His help? I really felt like I had the other day. Even though I know the answer is no… I was letting the lies of ‘you are not good enough’ to enter in.
Even though I was praying for help. I wasn’t believing that He would.
But that’s what He want’s. He wants us coming to Him saying “I can’t Lord. I need your aid. Lend me your safety, security and help. I simply can’t.”
His answer? “I know, I am with you. I love you. You are mine.”
WOW! It is hard for our human minds to grasp such love.
Yet He want’s us to take hold of His truth and promises. He love’s us. He will always be with us. No matter how bad we mess up.