Have you ever had feelings you thought were buried and gone, resurface? Deep seeded feelings you never wanted to feel again? That’s what happened to me this summer.
As we visited birthday party after birthday party over the warm summer months at friends and families beautiful homes, I envied what they had. What I once had. A house to call my own.
As we returned home from the birthday parties, to our small apartment, I couldn’t help but think… “I deserve that too. We have worked just as hard. Why can’t we have everything they have? Why is my life the messiest out of all of my friends?”
What was really bothering me?
Why was I struggling with this, again?
What it came down to was this… I believed I was simply not enough.
I looked at their lives, and then I looked at mine and I thought – I am not enough.
I looked at their beautiful homes, and then I looked at my small apartment and I thought – I am not enough.
I looked at her ______ (fill in the blank), and then I looked at my __________ (fill in the blank) – and believed I was not enough. We can all fill in the blanks with something, right?
The lie is we think we must have this or that to be considered enough. You and I need to overcome this because the truth is – we are enough. We are more than enough. We are way more than enough!
When I escape the noise and my own thoughts to listen to His voice, all I hear is I am deeply loved and wholeheartedly enough. Sometimes I have to do this often. Take a walk, a longer car drive… whatever it takes to steal away just to hear Him speak life and love over me.
Even when I have nothing to bring Him, He says – I am enough.
What happens when we believe we are enough?
We no longer have to fight to make ourselves known. We no longer have to question our worth or sit on the sidelines, we no longer have to feel inadequate either. No more hiding or trying to blend in because at the end of the day, no matter how long and hard it was – God says we are enough.
Does this change the fact that I don’t have a beautiful house to throw birthday parties at? No, it does not.
However this feeling of insecurity has been linked all the way back to when we sold our dearly loved home.
I’ve been wrestling with this for over a year and have just now been able to put my finger on the real reason I’ve been hiding in shame.
It’s not because I didn’t have a house – It’s because I felt like I wasn’t enough without one. Ridiculous and untrue and yet, I struggled with it the way many of us struggle with comparison and the feeling of not being good enough.
So how can we let go of the lie and actually believe we are who He say’s we are?
We go to Him. In the quite, in the still and we share it with Him. Because the only time I feel completely whole and satisfied is in His presences. It is there I believe I am who He says I am.
It’s also recognizing the lie for what it is. It’s to make us shrink back, to hid in fear, to live shyly, to be afraid to try. This was not His design for us. This is not who He made us to be. The lie will hold us back, His truth will set us free.
I made this necklace and wear it to remind myself no matter what I feel, no matter what happens, I am who He says I am. I am enough. I am loved. I am treasured. And He has big plans for my life! If I step out from behind the curtain of inadequacy – I’ll be able to experience life in a whole new way. And I’ll know He is at work in my life, no matter how messy it might seem, He is bringing it all together – this is not where it ends!
I am who YOU say I am – necklace available in my online boutique.