What are you calling me to, Lord?
As I spoke the words I felt His gentle nudge as if to say – “We don’t need to talk about that right now. Right now, lets address the feelings on your heart.”
The feelings that were rolling down my cheeks.
He wasn’t telling me to go and do, He was opening the door to just sit and listen to me cry, talk or even mumble…
It was in that moment I remembered how sweet and caring He is.
He cares for our tears. He doesn’t brush them off like you and I try to do.
When we are hurting, He is listening. No matter how ridiculous our hurt might feel to us..
All day long I was pushing down feelings that kept resurfacing.
I pushed them down and out of the way because there wasn’t a single thing I could do to change the situation.
When you can’t change it
“So,” I thought, “why address it when I can’t change it. I mean really, whats the point?”
But wouldn’t go away. After I snuck off to a quite place the tears just came.
And that was okay. It was okay with God and it was okay with me.
Not everything is perfect. But there is beauty in the imperfections.
I don’t want to harden and become bitter. I want to remain a soft mold-able clay so I can continue to grow, change and adapt. When we harden our hearts nothing can penetrate. Our own bitterness festers and grows. What can God do with a heart like that? What can you do with a heart like that?
Addressing the hurt
So I addressed the hurt, realizing that even though the situation may not change this year, it doesn’t mean other beautiful thing’s wont.
Waiting on God is hard, but every. single. time I look back on my life and and the times I was required to wait, there was reason, purpose and beauty behind it.
So I let the tears fall, I lay down my hurt before God and even though there was no definite answer – I felt at peace. And as I held onto that peace, I pressed on remembering I’ve come to far to simply give up.
If you are in a season of waiting. Know that (1) we all go through those seasons in our lives (I am currently in one right now). And (2) God is working behind the scenes in way’s you can’t see. Never give up!